Old Advice
It has become a common interview practice to ask what advice one would provide to their younger self. Most reply with some pithy thoughts on trying not to be so hard on themselves or to forget worrying that things won’t turn out right or to enjoy more of life. In reality, most of us would probably tell ourselves to ditch the unflattering hair style, clothes, or friends who weren’t really good for us sooner. But we don’t like to admit to the weird choices we made because they didn’t come from any deep soul-searching and were due to what was fashionable or easy at the time. Most of life choices are made on autopilot because they seem to be the right ones at the time. Only rebels deliberately choose against type, and they do so to prove a point.
Current Advice
When we get out of practice for advice seeking, it is generally due to the fact that we have some experience with how to make choices. It is also seen as a weakness to ask advice. Unfortunately, when a decision needs to be made, we stew in indecision. We don’t know what to do for sure and we lack the courage to ask for advice because it might make us appear uncertain. Humans often don’t have a comfort level with uncertainty although we live with it 24/7. It is supposed to be more adult to know what to do. Adulting is popular with grown-ups even after they realize that they are becoming their parents when they do so. It shouldn’t be such a surprise to grow up and be like the adults who raised us. That’s what they did also.
Acceptable Advice
I think a better interview question would be to provide some advice to your future self. This would encourage examining what we want to be like with more polishing. Thinking about what your future self needs creates some idea of what to focus on now also. If you can determine a future outcome, any outcome, the brain will start to envision it and help you discover a plan to get there. On top of that, you will map out a path in pencil to what success looks like. It is unlikely that you will see a future with no promise. Since these are just thoughts that you make up for yourself, they can be anything. And they will let you know if your days will be similar to your current ones. That visceral hell-no feeling will have you thinking up a whole new life to replace your current activities.
Note to Future Self
A lot of effort is put into creating goals and plans that often don’t materialize. We get bored or something doesn’t work out and we abandon reaching an outcome that looked great on paper. When you make notes to your future self, they are like friendly reminders to consider alternatives that come from inside of you. If you create the thought, you don’t have to do much convincing and you are more likely to choose a life that makes you proud. It will include how you see yourself in the best light and the hair style will be appealing. We don’t create failure for ourselves by making future promises; we make a vision board of the dreams that are stuck inside of us. Updating the future advice takes little effort when you remember that switching plans is necessary for fulfillment. The drama of living up to everyone else’s ideas can remain in the past.
Can you envision yourself ten or twenty years from today? What can you add to your current life to have that you eventually want in your life? Are you able to give yourself the benefit of choosing what you really want to become?
