We are all a lot of individuals wrapped up in one package. We each have multiple titles, wear many hats, interact with many levels and have to still somehow remain true to ourselves. At least that is what we are told is best. Be your best self. I am not sure which one of me that is and sometimes it depends on the hour of the day or the circumstance.
Working in close proximity to family members gives them new insight into the career individual. Parenting has always been a window into what didn’t go well in our own childhoods. Being a good partner is a scavenger hunt to see what the next step is to love someone else well. My neighbors get the sanitized home owner view and my stylist must be in awe of how I go outside of the house looking like I do. Don’t get me started on who I am with parents in mind. Even my siblings seem like adopted aliens somedays.
The most fascinating person to me is the person I am when no one else is looking. I like her; she is a little too demanding and honest at times but I think she knows me well. I hope she is my best self because I am alone with her a lot. I wish sometimes she gave me more grace but she seems to be working on that. I wish she knew how much I admire her and I wish she would look in the mirror more often. If she did, she would know that even when she walks away, I am still there waiting for her to return so we can discover more about each other.
It’s not so bad that we try so valiantly to present the best self to everyone. It means that we respect them and want them to think well of us. It can even make us do the right thing more often. I am sure the right thing would still have been done but maybe not with the same imperious attitude. I have been working on accepting how others are perfectly fine right where they are. Irritated, frustrated, emotional or a little over the top, I want them to know that it is alright. We do judge each other all day, every day; the same way we judge ourselves. It’s not wrong unless you do it for an improper result. Most of the time, it’s just a chance to hold the ruler up and check the measure of the moment. Judging is necessary; we don’t call it a Supreme Court for nothing. It’s the equitability of the decision we are examining. It may be so that the right thing is done for the right reason. We somehow get to decide the right reason, even if it doesn’t agree with someone else’s right reason.
I think I will try and look for myself a little more in the everyday things I do and like. These insights should help me love me a little more and help me narrow down my choices to the best ones for me. After that, I am going to start looking more closely at those around me to figure out the ordinary ways they are special. Maybe those quirks aren’t really as weird as I originally thought; I just need to readjust the way I examine them to see that they are the best of someone else in my life.
Do you know who you are when no one else is looking? If this is your best self, can you share this with everyone? Can you see a little glimmer of someone else’s best self that you didn’t recognize before?
