Little Big Effects
There is always a right way and a less right way. There is no chance that everyone has not heard that gratitude is surprisingly important to good mental health. But we don’t see the effect, so we don’t think it is important. So wrong. We can’t see the good stuff sometimes. The feelings that the good little stuff creates is such a shock that we don’t want to believe it either. We want giant experiences. Extreme events draw the most attention. Let’s get down a little lower and blow stuff up.
Energy can have a Shockingly Big Effect
Examine your own life. Today. Have you had anyone show their appreciation for you? It first takes you off guard and then it sinks in how nice it felt well after the chance is missed to understand the immediate afterglow. When we are not accustomed to hearing wild praise, it seems a little awkward. Let’s normalize being over the top. A crisp no-thought thank you from your boss will probably not make an effect worth noticing. We get enough non-specific gratitude. But that absolutely delightful response from a stranger you showed a kindness towards will fill you up. And you don’t even know them. The amount of pleasant but nominal interactions we have in the course of a day aren’t living up to their possibilities. We aim too low. Grab a stool and make it bigger next time. Go over the top.
Grandiose might be Key
Key to making the best impact is multiplying the experiences and making them count. We don’t use our fancy words enough. Grand gestures make an impact because they are totally unexpected. Practicing these acts of gratitude on the regular ensures that they will get noticed. Be creative and be brave enough to understand that real service to each other starts with how we interact every day. Testimonials, walls of thank yous, post-its with clear intent all count. Cards are better with real words, stick figures and crayons. Gratitude is magical because it has automatic emotional energy to fuel it. If you are an employer, improve sales and engagement by skipping the routine responses and show how generous you can be. Employees will respond and want you to continue the practice because they like the attention. You didn’t even need to raise their salary. You will be repaid by their reluctance to looking for another company as they see others in retreat.
Embrace your Superpower
When there are more deliberate outpourings of emotions with more thankfulness, we will finally capture the true reason that so much research includes how gratefulness can work. There is no downside. Trying to discover what will work for everyone can be skipped. Your effort at being more generous will give you the right to be thought of as the naturally kindhearted person that we all admire and don’t think we can be. But we can all access this spirit. We can all make our intention to be outspoken in graciousness as loud as our need to point out faults. In fact, most of us know when we make a mistake and beat ourselves up enough. My boss doesn’t need to do that for me even when it makes him feel superior. If most leaders surprised us with some outspoken real gratitude, we would easily be silenced. Let’s all work together on this one.
Do you ever hear what you really want to hear from anyone? Can you be brave enough to let others know what recognition means to you? Are you waiting until someone thanks you so you can show thanks?
