For giving
The act of forgiveness must be super important because it is frequently noted in conversations between humans, in passionate sermons and as part of our ability to demonstrate good manners. It is frequently joined by the word “please” to add to the weight of the request. It does feel heavy at times. Humans aren’t always adept at asking for or providing forgiveness. Young humans are prompted to say it when some insult to another human is inflicted but only if it is noticed by another human who wants to instill a system of manners. It is supposed to make things right again, but it doesn’t just flow off the tongue. It is easier to immediately think something different and blame the other person.
For Judging
The act of judgement is an all-day, everyday activity for most humans. Those who think that they don’t judge others are in denial. It is the brain’s method to compare and establish benchmarks and adherence. It is often paired with negativity but can just as easily become a way to determine an alternate answer. Real-life judges weigh important ideas and decide how to handle disagreements. We might not always like the decision, but we wouldn’t want to go without the ability to have a judge provide the judgement. At the root of it all is the safety that judgement gives us. The act of forgiveness does not have any effect until we tie a meaning to it. But an unwanted judgement can block the path to forgiveness because the act of forgiveness must be justified. It must make sense.
Unforgiving
Our unwillingness to forgive is usually based on our desire not to accept an event. Especially if the act was traumatic. If we admit that we can consider forgiving a past injustice, we start to judge our ability to forgive because it feels like a failure to deal with the act. But when the act and the acceptance that the thought of forgiveness is possible, the goodness involved elevates the victim not the perpetrator. Creating a space that separates the connection opens up the concept of freedom from the pain just through the mere ability to consider forgiveness. When the heart makes the decision in coordination with the brain, the healing starts. There isn’t even a need to rush. The inner spirit will provide the distance from the negative thoughts to change the perception of the judgement.
Fear Less
When forgiveness becomes a possibility, there can be a reversal in fear. Judgement was serving as protection against the repetition of the hurt. Releasing the victim story lightens the spirit and provides the strength of knowing that it is possible to handle life’s events. When we start to heal from the act, it is because we prompted it. There is no need to wait for anyone else. Humans are self-service sometimes. It doesn’t mean that the bad actor has to stay a part of life, but they just aren’t left making you relive their hijinks over and over. Humans can change their thoughts and exchange the unnecessary ones for new energetic ones. It’s like taking out the trash. When the garbage is gone, it can’t stink up the room anymore.
What can you forgive today to give you a quieter mind? Forgive doesn’t have to mean forget. What is the difference? Why is forgiveness so difficult for us to talk about?
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