Let’s rate our kisses.
First Kiss
Let’s look into the past for a moment and consider the first moment you were kissed. You probably don’t remember it. Babies get kissed so often and at such a high volume, that first kiss gets lost in the history books. But that is probably not the kiss you think of when you remember your first kiss. It is more likely that you think back to the first kiss you chose to get or give. You were probably not a baby at this point. You actually can remember it. It may have been romantic or memorable or scary or awkward or any other thought you can attach to it. The memory of your first kiss is usually an emotional memory. That is what makes it special. You can tell it was special because you probably don’t think back on the next hundred or so. What did you learn from that first kiss?
Last Kiss
Let’s look ahead. You have probably not considered much about your last kiss. Even if you try and envision it, it may be unclear about the location, when it will occur, who will give it to you or why it will be your last. We rarely know much about the last time anything happens to us. If you were able to plan for this last kiss, you might have more appreciation for it. Try and think about the kisses you distribute currently. If they do not match your standard of what represents a proper kiss, you can change that. You are not kissing the same way you did when you first started. Kisses can improve. Kisses can be considered intimate events, especially so during this intra-pandemic time or eventually post-pandemic. You can also consider the type of kisses you give out to those you love. It helps to consider why you have chosen to kiss someone. Human closeness in the form of a kiss can have tremendous value. Showing affection to family members should not be rushed or thoughtless. If your kiss has slipped into this category, maybe it’s time to think back on why you are kissing that person. And air kisses don’t count if you are not a climate controlling scientist.
The Kissing Connection
First kisses often set us up for thoughts about kissing until some future kiss changes that thought. When you think about kisses as connection, they fit into the same memories as hugs. Hugs and our experience of them symbolize feelings that we don’t even realize are inside of us until they show up. You have likely not enjoyed all of the hugs you have received. We often force little children to hug unknown relatives who tower over them. This encouragement is well meant to benefit the elder but can create anti-hug thoughts in children. Humans are getting better at understanding reluctance towards some hugs but really get it when they remember what they felt if they were forced to hug strangers. The energy that results in these instances is very evident. Perhaps we can normalize handshaking a little more. That can save kisses and hugs for those we really want to get close to by choice. Those who need those big hugs that don’t end quickly demonstrate a whole different breed.
Kiss Thoughts
You can make a list of those you kiss regularly. Family and friends are high on the list. Now rate your kisses and hugs with them. Is it possible that you could improve your everyday kisses and hugs to provide more feeling? Since humans are constantly on the search for the feeling attached to every act, you can think of the specific benefit or reason starting right now. It is possible to upgrade those connections with a pause, a breath and a thoughtful kiss and hug. Perhaps you can even consider the kind of kiss or hug a family member really needs if you stop long enough to think about them and not just swoop in automatically with a quick required peck on the cheek. If you want to enjoy more kisses and hugs, it is something that you can upgrade. For free. As for that last kiss, think about it. Affection should be a part of life all of the way to the end. Leave that person with a great memory.
Consider this: Who have you kissed today? Who do you want to hug to show your affection to? What can you insert in place of a kiss or hug for someone you don’t really want to get that close to?
