Gangsters are in the mob
The company I work for uses online training to keep track of who has learned important employee information. It is simple to access and is occasionally insightful. That’s where I learned the new-to-me word of “mobbing.” It’s really just harassment from more than one person. I gather whomever made up the term watched a lot of gangster movies and thought it was clever. That’s when I realized I was a victim of it.
Criminal activity
The mobsters who attacked me worked with each other in an office where others were privy to their remarks. They didn’t really know me at all but it must have been fun for them because they kept it up for quite a while without my knowledge. Of course, some “well-meaning” colleagues let me know about it eventually. That is a whole other subject. Is it ethical to let others know about verbal harassment but not report it? Rationalizations are perfect for this type of assistance.
Release the defendants
I became wary of the managers who were involved and kept a safe distance. I didn’t work with them directly and it was always a quandary why they singled me out. Nothing was done to stop it by those who knew about it. Always trust the actions of others more than their apologies. I controlled my thoughts enough to stop it from overpowering me with negative thoughts. Sadly, like many leaks, the drip, drip, drip continued and from time to time the offenders exhibited their power of position again. When I realized that nothing would ever be done to stop it, it brought up some old painful thoughts that started to nag me. Recently, when the bullying occurred again it reminded me that I had not done a great job in managing it in my mind. It produced thoughts that I had to work hard to extinguish and I didn’t want to examine them any longer for clues to their birth.
Life sentence
I know that by not handling the harassment bravely when it first occurred, I actually permitted it to continue. I will own that. When power is misused for entertainment, it is particularly confusing to accept. I have a great life. But I have nothing these employees could ever want because they have their own great lives. There is no use in trying to understand it because those thoughts are caught in their minds. I really don’t want to go there. I am trying my best to manage my own thoughts. And that is where the mobbing lives. Their gang has ways to beat my gang. My quest to control my thoughts has become so much easier as I get better at it. A decision to confront these actions really moved me to a better place. My own coaching colleagues support me in my quest to determine the best answer to what to do next. I know that unmade decisions take up more space that anything else in our brains. Now that I have looked the ugliness in the face, it’s time to do something about it. I am able to tell my own story and not hide their behavior.
How have you handled harassment by managers, coworkers, family members and others in power? Will there ever be a time when the workplace is safe for everyone and those in positions of power can be confronted? What drives one to want to single out another whom they do not know?
