Not so long ago, special days were celebrated in a way to set them apart. Family and friends gathered, favorite foods were prepared and gifts were presented to the feted individual. More recently, everyone at these events started to get a small token for taking part. In an effort to make those who had taken the time to attend feel appreciated, the spotlight was enlarged to include the group. Our time had become so valuable that it needed to be honored just for attendance. Before, our invitation to attend gave us a chance to show how beloved another person was to us. Our physical attendance was a way of demonstrating our feelings. The swag and parting gifts raised the bar and changed expectations. The distinction of the honoree decreased and you felt obligated to pay it forward at another upcoming event. The celebration became the Ponzi scheme of events.
At this same time, an uptick in self-identification rose to a new level. I am all for being your best self, but it seemed as if you weren’t unique in some way you might not be as worthy of attention. You became a knockoff in a designer world. Significance is important to all of us. Even those of us who lean toward introversion need to be thought of as valuable. The rise of the term “imposter syndrome” proves the point. No one is really an imposter; we are just exactly who we are at any moment. That term is mostly a limiting thought that drains self-confidence, hurts for no good reason and it should be banned. It is rarely used to describe anyone but ourselves in our own internal thought.
Reducing the aura of specialness sounds villainous and ludicrous. The opposite track is a better choice; elevate the ordinary. That simple shift permits many more opportunities for greatness. There are more ordinary moments than celebratory ones. Our everydays are chockfull of ritualized habits that we perform on autopilot. They are our system and we’ve got programs that keep everything moving successfully. They also contain the possibilities of endless tinkering. The glass is never really half-full; it just needs to be topped off. Because we tend to complete so much even on an ordinary day, we don’t always consider it special. Moments get overlooked.
We are going to change that. We are going to start to notice the overlooked and build attention into our systems. What you are doing right now is ordinary but special. You are giving yourself space to think differently about your very own life. I am proud of you; keep it up.
