Memorize this phrase
Our verbal habits become ingrained as adults and without updating can provide less than optimal results. We get lazy and naturally use the same old words over and over. If you perform a job in which you have questions that you use repeatedly, you know what I mean. Throughout the pandemic, the temperature, travel and connection questions were repeated so many times, they lost some of the seriousness they started out with. The most important verbal lesson is still the one with the fewest spoken words. Listening requires the skill to understand when not to speak. It’s time to introduce another phrase and “tell me more” is a great invitation.
Universally Powerful
If we took the time to tease out more about each situation and person, we would expand our knowledge about life and humans. Encouraging more from those we normally come into contact with might throw them off a little the first time you ask for more information. It is an invitation for them to share themselves in a manner they hadn’t experienced with you. Their brains actually need to do a little more processing to answer this request because we get trained to provide only the facts when interacting in the busy world we have created. This invitation to share more creates a deeper conversation where the usual question and answer ritual kept the knowledge level shallow.
The Art of Conversation
The last year has been a time of more silence for some and the opportunity of powerful talks for others. When we share our worlds more physically, there are a lot more casual conversations. Those can be easy and playful and satisfying. But the art of really getting to know each other remains one awkward question away from a reluctant participant running to getting a cold drink. We have to get into the practice of wanting to know one another better. That will help us understand ourselves better too. We tend to turn the subject of the discussion into what we are doing too early and miss the chance to reassure another that we really want to know more.
Repeat it to Yourself
This magic phrase works in self talk also. I have reported previously on my propensity of not only speaking to myself but answering myself. I seem to make sense sometimes. But I need to encourage myself to tell myself more at times. Settling on the first simple thought that occurs to me is a guaranteed method of not always choosing the right one. Rethinking is a great method to find more answers instead of just what seems like the obvious one. Innovation requires the attitude of telling more. There is science involved in getting to know ourselves and others the way we deserve to be known. Repeat after me, tell me more. I will be glad to be quiet while you talk.
Can you tell yourself more? Can you hold back by not making yourself the immediate focus of a conversation by comparing with another? What more would you share if asked?
