Every party needs a pooper…
Party Pooper
Coaches regularly talk to clients about how to pick themselves up when they are down. Like most humans, I am very familiar with the way things look from the floor. It’s uncomfortable, it’s lonely and truthfully, not the most attractive view of the humans who are looking down on you. You can see the fake pity on their faces. You notice that they aren’t holding out any stretched hands. You know what they are thinking about how you are getting what you deserve. That’s when the pity party starts. It’s super easy to think about the injustices that occur in life. It’s easy to blame things on those around us or circumstances out of our control. The party isn’t pleasant, but it makes up for its pain by letting you practice your rationalization skills.
Party Favors
Since this is our self-coaching month, I am going to provide the magical skill needed to help resolve this issue. To make the pity party end, coaches can give clients the option to think about the truth of the circumstances first. Shrinking the thought about what happened helps to not only neutralize it but see it clearly. Smaller stuff is less frightening. When examining this smaller thought, it is much easier to determine whether it is actually true or not. This is pretty basic intel. It is an amazing fact of life that most real solutions are simpler than we expect them to be. I prefer simple. But it doesn’t always mean easy. Knowing that something isn’t true about a circumstance that left you on the floor lets you get up on your own. Even better, you will stand a little taller. Whenever we arm ourselves with the truth, it somehow helps us stand taller.
Celebration
Most parties have a theme of celebration. Celebrating the end of feeling miserable happens when you notice that little smile curling up on the sides of your mouth. In an effort not to trust our feelings, humans like a lot of evidence that life can feel joyful. We are socialized to think that there is something wrong with us. Acting as prosecutor and jury, we are very good at giving testimony by listing all of the things that are wrong in life. This is where the actual celebration can begin. Take that journal and start to list all of the things you think are not the way you want them to be. Pick one to put on the witness chair. When you ask yourself if it is really true and you get a no, cross it off. If you get a yes, that’s the party favor. That’s where to start your self-coaching. You are in control of how you think about that item. Open that gift and figure out how you want to feel about it. Now you have the path. How will you get over there?
Party On
Using this one self-coaching method, you can tackle any item. Try and stay out of the defendant role and focus on prosecuting yourself. You will get results faster. There is no winner when you get defensive. The best part is the freedom you feel when you supply the testimony that dramatically unlocks the missing clue to help see the truth. You will understand the growth process that was required to receive the correct verdict. As you start to work on your list of woes, some will fall away on their own. Opening one gift often is enough to get that celebratory feeling. Repeating your hard-won ability reinforces your thought process. That’s a real reason to party.
Self-coaching has many options. There is always more to learn. What is one thing you want to review to remove it from your list of worries?
