What is really Right
When I am really feeling terrible about something that didn’t go well, I often hear my brain tell me that I can’t do anything right. When my brain wants to talk down to me, it chooses to hit hard and low. Considering how many tasks I complete in a day, it seems impossible that at least one thing wouldn’t be done well. Even when I recognize the absolute impossibility of doing everything wrong, I still manage to concentrate my thoughts on the possibility that everything is really a hot mess.
Dismiss my Rights
Negative self-talk is often dismissive. Hearing your own thoughts sound like a bully can result in the same feelings that were experienced in middle school when the kid who enjoyed more power than most discovered how to influence the rest of us through intimidation. My mind shouldn’t be comfortable scaring me this way. But the only way it can be successful is if I believe what I hear. When I give away my own power over my thoughts, there is a chance that I am going to feel pressured to agree. It is hard to accept that sometimes I have to disagree with my own mind. But I do need to challenge these thoughts because they are manufactured to sound like real beliefs. They are great fakes.
Right this Way
The only way to determine if a statement is true is to examine it. If it is found to be false, the idea behind the faux thought can be rethought. It is even better to discover where the errant belief came from so that it can be dismissed and replaced with something closer to reality. There is no reason to believe that a statement expressing such a high degree of righteousness could hold up. Once the rethinking starts, there is mounting evidence to dispel any rumors about the lie that prompted the statement. On closer inspection, it is super easy to see right through the bogus junk presented by the brain. That step is crucial to find the why behind how a belief could be presented with such certainty when there was no reason.
Do it Right
The why behind my errant belief that I can’t do anything right is my need to justify a reason for imperfection. The exact opposite thought crops up because I feel ashamed that the odds caught up with me and something didn’t go as planned. My mind delivers the toughest sentiment so that I will think twice before trying again. Luckily, the automatic gesture of my mind can’t compete with the rethinking part of my brain that wants to remove false thoughts from my head’s vocabulary. To debunk the statement, I rethink with the shattering question of “Is that true?” The easy answer quickly unwinds the pain caused by my original thinking and opens up the opportunity for a new thought. Of course, I can do things right. And rethinking negative talk is one of the most important things I know how to do.
Why does your brain critique your ability to do things right? Can you name all of the things you have already done right today? Why does self-talk cause pain even when it is false?
