Time Out for my Brain
My need to get away creeps up on me unexpectedly but I now recognize that it’s my psyche’s way of recharging. I regularly need time away from tasks to just ruminate, ponder or stare out the window. The rumination occurs when I feel the need to review what I have done that caused pain or something that has stumped me. The things that stump me usually involve a lack of understanding I have about why something is happening. I tend to be more Spock than Kirk and my brain likes to look for a logical reason. Silly brain. The pondering is mid-level daydreaming that usually provides some great thoughts about what to write. The staring is an intense concentration effort to focus on solving an isolated issue.
Physical Time Out
If you are familiar with any type of sport, you understand the need for calling a time out. It’s great to get the chance to regroup and breathe. This can be a mini strategy session if done correctly. For the basic human not involved in a contact sport, interrupting an activity can return the focus to implementing the next right move in order to get ahead. It is critical not to look backward and relive anything in this type of time out because you might lose momentum. There is always time to review the video tape after the win.
Corrective Time Out
This is the one most associated with childhood. And doing something naughty. Being removed from the group and told to think about the action that got you into that corner is part of the routine. Standing with your back to your group as you feel singled out leads you to turn surreptitiously and make envious glances at those whose lives have continued without you. They return nervous glances to see how you handle the punishment. This type of correction isn’t always valuable because it leaves the feeling that you were caught red handed and so guilty that no trial is necessary. But I still think this particular time out would be valuable for adults in many situations because it would provide enough embarrassment to punish the offender with the necessary thought time to think about what happened. Most adults wouldn’t even be interested in trying to check out what everybody else is permitted to do if they could just rest their heads on their elbows for a breather.
Gathering Time
When something is out of balance, the act of getting away should be normalized. It would certainly take a rude boss by surprise if an employee just upped and walked out quietly during a conversation. But the walk out isn’t as bad as the rudeness. Subordinates are expected to just sit and take it when the boss has decided they want to be profound. But you and I both know that the employee is trying to determine exactly how long this torture will endure. The effort to gather oneself should be honored. In fact, it should be a big sign that the conversation needs to stop to provide relief. Getting away for a time out could be a useful decision for most unpleasant conversations that participants aren’t ready for. Even when the talk is with oneself. A little empty space goes a long way. I guess that’s where my ruminating, pondering and staring comes in. Because it works.
Can you tell ahead of time when you are out of balance? Where can you place yourself in time out? Why are corners the preferred place to stand when we do something in error?
