Wrong Again
My active self-talking mind sometimes asks the strangest questions. When I hear the statement, “What is wrong with me?” I know that I have shocked even me with something. This phrase does not normally focus on anything I have done that is correct; it is surely my way of pointing out an error of huge proportion. This kind of talk makes me feel as dumb as a rock because whatever I am referring to was obviously meant to happen differently. Sadly, my mind is great at providing evidence of other times I erred to increase the evidence to convict me. There is a general annoyance in the sound of this question that borders on impatience. It’s a question often used to ask children about their actions.
Generally Wrong
Even when you take this question out of the mind, it’s a harbinger of news not wanted. If you have been ill, you may have asked this general inquiry to try and get some information on health matters. If you play sports and miss an easy shot, this question pops up. If you find yourself looking in the refrigerator for your keys, your mind may be confused with too much input. This all-purpose accusation can fit in lots of places in life. I want to be able to improve my own thoughts, so I know to pause to see if I can determine what led to this thought. I may have been distracted or overwhelmed or rushing. But looking back at the prompt helps me watch out for future reoccurrences.
Wrong can Head Right
The best lessons are prompted by the wrong stuff. Being handed the exact place to examine is like being given a treasure map that really leads to buried gold. If you can start with the thought that this kind of self-talk is not acceptable, it opens up the door to what would replace it in your mind. I imagine that when you replace generic shaming questions with new thoughts, the ones you create to substitute will actually get to the heart of the issue and be kinder. Humans are good at improvement projects. The way our minds talk to us is critical. I want to be able to believe what I think, but truthfully, my mind has a poor track record of being absolutely right. While we are at it, let’s dispense with the words “right” and “wrong.” I am sure they are obsolete and can be replaced easily by “correct” or “in error.” There are less feelings attached to those ideas.
A New Question
After investigating the answer that led me to understand what started my mind questioning my actions, it might help to turn that question around and examine what is right with me. The brain skews to negative self-talk so some direction will help. Focusing on what I am very capable of being successful at will lead to a better understanding of what it takes to be successful. It is just as easy to repeat tasks correctly when you know what not to do. Experience is a great teacher if you have good experiences. If you are repeating poor choices, maybe not so much. Actively looking out for what I can practice doing better is a great plan. It tends to persuade my mind not to be so negatively reactionary. It also cuts the annoyance down so that I am not so upset with the talents I am lacking.
Can you shock yourself enough to feel impatient and annoyed? The action before the thought usually provides the best clues to our feelings. Can you look back and investigate your own behavior? What does it take to ask a new question?
