Advice as Opinion
In the past, prior to the Internet, we had to depend on getting our advice from family members and nearby friends. With no social media to count on to show us the absolute right way to do everything, we punted. After everyone gave their advice, we made the final decision to do what we ultimately thought was right. Of course, if you had enough time on your hands, you could write a lengthy letter to a local newspaper advice column to seek their input also. The issue was probably lost in the past by the time the answer was printed in the local paper.
Advice is Cheap
Perhaps we think advice is cheap because it is so readily available. We tend to value that which is more rare. That would be good advice to take to heart. Consider first what the advice is based on. Even if someone was in a similar position and wanted to tell you how they handled the problem, what makes you think that you need to do the same? That is often where we go wrong in listening to others. Whenever we give away our ability to make a decision, we may not end up with the outcome we desire. We might get the results meant for the person who provided their advice. At least you got what you paid for.
Write to Yourself
It may actually help to borrow one segment of the old ways. Write yourself a letter describing the entire issue and provide as much detail as possible. You can change the names to protect the innocent or to really give yourself a chance to examine it as an outsider. Writing it all down gets it out of your head. If you can take the pretense to the level of thinking of yourself as a reporter, get all the facts in place. Always remember that there are multiple sides to every story. Your letter is your perspective. Everyone has the right to their own truth. Next, put the letter away for a day. Getting that down let’s you move on and not just focus on what next step to take. Placing some space in between thoughts often creates a little path for new unexpected thoughts. That’s where ghost writing started.
First Person Advice
In most situations, humans really know what the next best step is. We may make a lot of noise about needing more time to think or information to make a decision, but in reality, we often take the path that would be beneficial. Barring making huge victim-like sacrifices, we know what to do. We really just want someone else to agree. The best part is that even after you make your choice, there is little others can do if they don’t like it. They can have their own thoughts. But if you are able to stop your stomach from hurting and heart from beating too fast and dry off your sweaty palms, you know you did your best. But keep the letter. It will remind you next time you don’t trust yourself enough. It may even show you a pattern in your thinking process when it becomes your rethinking process.
How do you trust someone for advice? Can you trust yourself to make the best decision? Does writing something down help in examining choices?
