Whenever I look into the mirror, I try my best to look for that 9 year girl who lives inside of me. I know she is there even when she chooses to play hide and go seek with me. She is a pretty ordinary 9 year old. She likes to play board games, write in her diary, ride a red two-wheeler, and swim. She is good in school and listens to her teachers. She likes to play with other girls and is currently reading all of the orange bound biographies in the library. She is afraid to talk sometimes.
My 9 year old self is good at writing. Her friends know stuff and she likes to repeat what they say instead of trusting her own wisdom. She is the epitome of “still waters run deep” when it comes to her own thoughts. I trust her. She has never let me down. I call on her to help me understand betrayals, fairness and secrets. Her standards are high and she can forget dishonesties if committed by a close friend who was duped. But she listens to her intuition to stay away from those whose behavior stinks. She knows them too.
I can often spot someone else’s 9 year old. Their eyes can widen in wonder and their bodies can shrink in shame. Nine year old selves come out in times of stress for comfort. They show up when rules are broken. They like to open presents by ripping off the paper. Sometimes they drink too much for a little kid or eat too much and get a bellyache. They hide in their clothes if necessary. They take to their beds and pull up the covers as far as possible.
Nine year olds show up when needed by good friends. They find it easy to reach out and hold hands or link arms and walk together. They find the words to encourage others to ride farther, run faster, or get on a roller coaster. They know they can get up after falling and will be stronger. They don’t care if their hair gets messed up for a good cause. They can cry for any reason; it’s just tears and they dry up eventually.
If partners and besties could see each other as 9 year olds, they would recognize the kind of love the other needs and deserves. Since we are not good at seeing inside of others without practice, sometimes you have to ask. Don’t be afraid; nine year olds don’t fear much. Everything is not the end of the world. That age will come in your teens. So be your best nine. Widen your eyes. Be curious. Ask to go first. Skip along the sidewalk. Whisper a secret. Love yourself.
Can you see and listen to your inner 9 year old self? A 9 year old is a great guide and is always there for you.
