How bad are things
Bad is a very good all-purpose word. It can be used in many situations and isn’t even upset by its lack of compliments or recognition. It does have a shadow side though. Sometimes I hear the little voice in my head ask me why bad things always happen to me. These aren’t exactly proud moments and don’t deserve to be shared with anyone. They are mostly for me. These could be described as times when I feel sorry for myself, playing a little victim to see if it makes me feel better. But sometimes I am just really wondering why another frightening thing decided to show up in my life. It is more helpful to remember that I have been through a lot of scary stuff already and found my way out. I don’t really think that I am meant to feel special since we all have obstacles in the longer journey of life. If I was a gambler, I might just wonder about my luck.
Things aren’t all bad
It would be more truthful for many of us to just answer “bad” or “not so good” when we are greeted by others who use the question “How are you?” That would cover physical and mental status and let us in on the true state of someone’s current feelings. It would present the opportunity to help or support in some way if possible. After all of the social and environmental changes of the past few decades, we should switch up our greetings for the new times we live in. We are much more attuned to those who need help and getting better at asking for it when needed. Greetings have gone through many changes over time, and I rarely hear anyone scream “Hail” when they see a friend.
Universal bad
We like to think in all or nothing. When things are going well in life, we tend to smile more, stress less and even whistle on occasion. We are magnetic and are drawn to others feeling the same way. I know that when I am not feeling as if my life is a musical, I tend to keep more to myself, avoid greeting others so I don’t have to share my misery and wallow a little bit. Neither the good or bad times are permanent. And the darker times give me a little space to spend some thinking time about my feelings so I can let them go when possible. Since I treated them as the valuable emotions they are, they feel seen and eventually skip town. When feelings aren’t judged, they can tell you stuff. Just like people. With that in mind, respecting your feelings and the feelings of others around you gives you insight into what they have to offer.
Breaking bad
There can be good in bad and bad in good. The true puzzle of life is how those two areas can work together. If it is possible to avoid the all or nothing thoughts that usually accompany emotions, it is probable that more aspects of each would be visible and offer more information about them. If the two were more intertwined, they might even balance out sometimes. At that point, it would be much more acceptable to answer questions about our current state with more truth. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to skip over the surface questions and develop another level of understanding with our fellow humans. And that would decrease the speed with which we label each other. If that happened more often, we could all be grateful for the opportunity to wear our real feelings out in the world.
What prompts you to feel as if bad things only happen to you? How do you deal with others when you see they are in distress? What is your usual answer to “How are you?”
