A Fool for all Seasons
One well-learned lesson from elementary school is the plight of the fool. In history books, the comical guy on the king’s payroll was designated as the fool. He dressed differently and had to have a modicum of talent to retain his position. You didn’t hear about the fool having to go out and slay dragons or fight nobly but they didn’t win the hand of the lovely princess either. They stayed in their lane. In elementary school, the fool in class was knighted the class clown and often had to keep the spirits of the students up by making a mockery of someone or something. There were consequences, both short-term and long-term. Many fine actors were class clowns in their day.
Fool Me Once
There are many sayings attributed to being foolish. Generally speaking, we don’t like being made to feel like a fool. The thought is connected to a betrayal of some sort, and it is nearly impossible to see the humor of anything that makes us look witless. Although it is rationalized as being “all in good fun,” being separated for any negative differentiation conjures up enough self-shame to make the experience an emotional low point. It brings out a need to find some armor and create a barrier to fend off the arrows and swords. If we believe that we have been fooled, we have to take a step back to discover reality. Being made fun of might create a desire to fight back in an equally foolish manner to even the score.
The Foolish Heart
Our enormous capacity to love leaves us open to being fools for love. You have probably noticed how delirious emotions seem in the throes of love. We accept the possibility of being fooled because it feels so good. Love can make us act indiscreetly or even reckless. It is as if we have more tolerance to appearing foolish to feel the benefit. We don’t mind wearing the appearance of a jester because our attention is drawn to bigger feelings. It is our choice. But if we end up feeling fooled as a result of love, we want to hide away to avoid the stares and remarks of the world because we think all their eyes are on us. We cry along with songs about being irresponsible to acknowledge our wish to avoid being foolish in the future.
Foolish Acceptance
There is actually an emotion buried deeply inside of us that we don’t tend to talk about. A person who has been fooled may agree that they had some part in the whole drama and even learn from the damage of a rash adventure. When examining why they felt bad about being fooled, they may think that the embarrassment of being tricked is the culprit. That’s where most of us stop and try to examine our feelings. Oddly, there is a deeper level that we don’t often approach. In the depth of our feelings is a place where we don’t want to accept that someone just didn’t like us. That makes us question our own likability. That gets to the core of our awareness. Getting to that point is a great place to start from in coaching because once that level is lit, many levels above it become so much easier to see. Letting light in at the lowest place brightens the whole world.
Does being made fun of make you feel like a child? If you have children in your life, can you resist teasing or making fun of them? Do you believe that a barrier can be built up to feeling foolish?
