No one likes to be ordinarily irritated, with the exception of grumpy old men. Irritation decreases the quality of interactions and good feelings about yourself because it doesn’t meet the expected measure of everyday pleasantness. But irritation can become an ordinary state of feeling when the little nuisances of life pile up. This feeling leads to a case of testiness which drives others away. Even if the irritation is considered entitled, the resting cross-face prohibits those in contact to know how to approach, in fear of being the target of the issue.
Stepping back and observing situations as they happen allows better perspective. The practice of being self-aware avoids the trap of making mountains out of molehills and may avoid additional problems. Slowing down the quickly critical reaction to anything that is not perfect takes time before it becomes second nature. To build this skill, you must watch for annoyances as they are encountered. It is sometimes easier to watch how others react to small hurdles to think about alternative ways to handle issues.
Email has entered our lives and can cause irritation. The initial truth about email is that is provided a quick solution to communication. The underbelly issue with email is how easy it is to spread a wildfire of complaints and criticism. If you don’t answer fast enough, you are seen as not paying attention. If you write poorly and don’t edit well, the errors become a part of your adult report card. If you just want to show that you can catch the miscalculations of others to make yourself seem smarter, that will happen. Email should be treated with the same compassion you would want to experience in terms of perfection.
There is one in every workplace. The employee who is fastest to point out what is incorrect and broadcast it as quickly as possible to those around them. They travel by foot to make you aware, they send quick direct messages to their group, and they take too much time trying to build a skyscraper from a small bungalow of an error. It is almost as if they elevate themselves by blowing something (almost anything) out of proportion. They must have more time on their hands than the rest of us. If you can watch them in action, it appears silly and a little like someone needs a nap. After alerting the whole office, they can spend more time considering what was actually meant instead of the mistake and end the conversation shaking their heads over the incompetence. When you finally watch them tire of the hunt, they go back to their seats in search of another method to demonstrate their ability to find fault.
Watching these scenarios provides excellent training in how not to react to anyone else’s human error. These are opportunities to ponder internally and review your own normal reaction. If you automatically deal with aggravations in life, does that make you a martyr to the cause? Would sailing above the fray demonstrate your wisdom? No one ever said you had to fix everything yourself. Swooping to the rescue may have been your go-to tactic; but more could be imagined by holding back for just a moment.
Chances are, someone else might be able to handle the dilemma. Chances are, someone else might grow from being able to demonstrate their ability to calmly provide a solution. Chances are, someone else might have a better idea to fix it. Your lack of reaction could initiate a whole new sequence of events. In the haste of repairing an error, even allowing the mistake to slide right on by might be the right move. The secret is that not everything needs to be fixed. Saving your instinct to solve for concerns that will negatively affect others might be the best criteria of all. And think of all those mountains that can stay molehills.
When can you step back instead of stepping forward to spotlight problems? How can you manage your thoughts about letting others be the hero? Does everything have to be a catastrophe?
