Are you me or am I you?
Not Me might Be You
Becoming close to another human is a wonderful act of faith in oneself. But only if you resolve to show your real self. Humans spend a lot of time in disguise. Not always deliberately but it occurs throughout life. As children we inhabit the little being that we think will help us get through our required learning phase. We might exhibit some discomfort with being dressed according to someone else’s choices. Think about clothing tantrums. We might not like the type of food chosen for us. Think about all those icky things you were forced to taste. We might get upset when we don’t get our way. Actually, that continues to happen throughout life, but we get better at hiding it. There is a massive amount of trial and error in the experiment of life.
Disguised as Myself
Grown up humans wear disguises that suit their roles. Suits, dresses, pants, overalls, cowboy hats, athletic wear and shoe choices all display something about who we are portraying. These disguises change as we partake in different activities, but you could go hang out at the mall and see a repetitive parade of clothing choices. Hidden underneath these costumes lives a real human. In life, most humans will connect and get close to a limited number of other humans. At least close enough to wonder if we really know them. The majority of humans in our lives are just a part of the story. But those we choose to get close to can still be a mystery. Until you look at them and see yourself. This is a terrific part of the game of life. Can you look at those you love and see yourself?
Not your DNA
Let’s leave our genes out of the equation for a spell. Just because someone has the same chin as you do is probably as much random chance as planned replacement. We like to consider eye color, height and weight, athletic ability and all manner of stuff to connect ourselves to others. It makes us feel alike. It makes us feel safe to know that we are in the same tribe. But what about those who are opposite us? The beauty of those in our lives who are dissimilar is the fact that they provide something unlike us. That is their real superpower. They make us think about ourselves and what different means. Life is pretty short in time. Getting to really know someone requires some effort. But when we do, we begin to see our own reflection. Yes, those humans around you are all mirrors set up to help you see who you really are. That makes it a precious gift to really get to know them well. They are glimpses of us on display.
Love thy Other
This is the month of love. Celebrating what our powerful heart brings to our lives is celebrated with candy, flowers, gifts, shiny objects and reminders to appreciate the select humans we have chosen to feel love towards. Yes, you have made that choice and can continue to make that choice until you don’t. That is when change occurs. But before you do, check underneath the disguise again. That person might be hiding exactly what you need to progress in life. They are there for a reason. And you are there for some purpose too. Luckily, that part is not yours to figure out. Just look a little deeper at your own choices. Thank them for being in your life even if you haven’t fully figured it out yet. Staring at them helps. Engaging quietly with them more often works also. Just don’t let your heart down by doing nothing or relying on your imagination. Find out what part of them is all you.
Look around you. What can you learn about yourself from those you love? Can you be your true self in order to allow another to know themselves? Who can you trust more – you or your reflection?
