Am I a form?
The Do you Know Page
Facts seem easy. They sound like sentences that are acceptable to all of us. The hardest thing to write is a paragraph that describes your humanness. You think that these are facts. But they are really just beliefs about you. It would be truer to rename these pages as sentences about stuff I believe about me. The only way to really know anyone is to get them to feel safe enough to speak about how they truly are. This is not a well-used strategy, so we often just know the supposed facts. The feeling is missing.
Reflection Page
A better way to think about who someone might be is to see your own face on everyone else. This can be a fun experiment at the grocery store. Watching another human in the produce department squeezing items to check their ripeness, attach your favorite rendition of your face to them. The first thing you may notice is the clothing choice that doesn’t seem like something you would pay good money for. This works whether they appear to be the same gender as you or not. In fact, you may be shocked watching them in a task because it seems so unlike what you would do. Take this same experiment around the store, as you wait in line and look into the face of the cashier to see your own reflection. This might encourage you to update your “do you know” page immediately.
Work Reflection
We have work selves. They have facts attached to them. Titles, departments, tasks and skills provide distinction. It is easier to hang out with those on our own level. There is the inevitable ongoing conversation about what is wrong with the workplace and the folks who run the place. The big guys rarely have the knowledge of the little people. That thought is old. If death by old age occurs at some point, this would be a great thought to bury. If you know what you look like and act like at work, is it really the you that you want to reflect? Add in what you look like as you are walking away also since this is often what others get to see. You may have betters and elders to deal with at work. Being great at interacting with others is easier if you just consider that they are human just like you.
What’s Missing
At some point at work, you may notice what is missing. Take inventory of the traits of those who are most visible. If you see something in them that you want, cultivate it. If you know there are traits that you exhibit but you don’t like them, they are yours to update. You never need to be the same person every day unless that is what you desire. If you can only show up as the person you were a year ago, that may feel constricting. You may not even know that your work self doesn’t fit you until you think about it. Strangely, this seems enlightening when it occurs. The best part is that no one can stop you. This isn’t third grade. This is your work life. Live it well.
Start with the facts and write them down to describe you. Next, write what you want it to say. Read it out loud. Embrace whatever change you want.
