Questions
The average four-year-old asks 390 questions a day. The average parent answers the first hundred or so before their mind explodes. When the questions start, parents appreciate that their little darling is so intelligent and wants to know all about the world. Tolerance levels never hit a mark that outpaces the child and eventually “because I said so” or something equally unclever is blurted out in frustration.
Let’s look it up
Modern technology has made this one much easier. No encyclopedia to drag out now. Just a few clicks and taps and the answer appears. Parents really do want children to know the correct information but the game wears them down. And parents never want to tell a child that they “don’t know.” Ouch.
Replace the Q with an A
Often in life, the answer is in the question. It may be hidden away but we are in such a hurry to get to the answer, we disregard what the question really means. Adults do this with each other all the time. Sometimes, we don’t even raise our heads while providing the answer. That’s kinda the ultimate example of someone not wanting to be bothered. And the answer is often as lacking as it is thoughtless.
What are you really asking
The next time you are asked a question, take two. Or at least a good pause. Try to determine what that question is really hiding. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask the person what they are really trying to find out. Often the tone is the first clue that the question is a ruse. Digging in a little helps by providing that moment of silence that the average human wants to fill with words. Those words are the path to the real information that the questioner really wants to know. Your pause creates a moment in time to allow for the space needed to alert them to the fact that you are on to them. It might be easier just to provide the real answer and not beat around the bush with a bunch of warm-up inquiries.
Consider a question as an answer and see what it really means. Find out what the real inquiry is and provide that response. How do you form your questions?
