Parents Required
The process of parenting is self-taught for the most part. It is unpaid. It can be expensive and time consuming. So far, the job of parenting sounds like a terrible investment. But everyone gets at least one person who functions as a parent to us, even in absentia. Our original family may have had many others also, but there is one person that provides the most direction, beliefs and experiences. They often work without knowing if they are providing the right information in every case. Humans are unique and all have different needs but can’t articulate them well. Because of the importance of this influence, we store the qualities of the child we once were deep inside of us. It takes some self-knowledge to uncover any old wounds that occur from this part of life. Sometimes, unfinished issues become visible with sudden negative reactions. We think that childhood is all play, fun and delight but it often reawakens in anger, fear and sadness.
Acting Out
Generally, children are said to be acting out when they are not cooperative. We have all seen and may have even been that little person having a temper tantrum in response to some contradiction. Something didn’t go our way. Our reaction comes from a place of unfair denial and our brain created thoughts that we would be in danger without the item we desired. It would be interesting if adults could have that much desire in life; they might strive harder for what they innately want. Depending on how we were parented in that moment, the hurt that was created would stay with us unresolved. We hold onto hurt because we want to find a way to heal. But if you stuff enough pain down inside eventually it will reappear elsewhere. That is when we see adults act out. If you work with a coach to re-parent your inner child, you will learn the valuable lessons of living less reactively and making more proactive decisions. You begin to tackle the emotions that were created by a lack of attention or the wrong type of resolution. Remember, parenting is a skill learned on the job without perfect direction. It is super easy to repeat the same errors of the past generations.
Triggers can help
It seems counter intuitive but to find the issues that trigger the adult in you just push the old buttons of unhealed childhood memories. The concerns that stand out in relationships and satisfaction in life can be like arrows pointing to something left over from earlier parenting. You can interact with your own inner child to understand how to create balance inside of you in reaction to old wounds. You can create and love your own beliefs and examine experiences to determine how they affected you in the past so that you don’t have to continue to carry them into adulthood. Interviewing your younger self as wise enough to know what is best shows trust in your adult self. Feeling that happy, healthy child inside of you lets you know that uncovering pain can result in enough first aid to see your younger self smile. It’s like homework. You might not want to do it but it has the tendency to increase knowledge.
Parenting Models
Re-parenting yourself has residual effects. It often defines past experiences in ways that present an understanding of why things occurred. When we know the why for something, we tend to feel better about it. There is no need to go back and create issues with original family members or parents either. When you can get secure in your own parenting skills, you actually become the parent you needed and wanted. Better relationships occur spontaneously when you aren’t focusing on old triggers. Even better, when you uncover them, they shrink and slip away. You can hold onto the better memories because there is so much room for them to expand. It is good to be aware of how easy it is to crush a tiny spirit. It is even better to know how to grow a stronger spirit. When you get to the place where you can be grateful for those who parented you, even with their untamed methods, you gain a deeper understanding of the beauty of the parent-child relationship.
One on one coaching results in many benefits. One huge one is handling and resolving inner child issues. Check your triggers. Do they need a little healing time with a coach as your guide? Please contact me for a consultation at [email protected].
