The golden rule has been used as a model for how humans should behave for as long as I can remember. We were taught as children to follow this direction and everyone would get along. With the frequency it was and still is repeated, you would assume that it was an easy request. But it is not, and I know why.
We are a proud people. Mostly proud of ourselves, proud of our belongings and accomplishments, and proud to be well regarded. We say we look out for those who don’t receive a fair hearing. We debate the treatment of the oppressed, refugees, prisoners and the homeless. The debates often don’t change much but make us feel better when we are able to point out what is wrong. And we love to be right.
The real issue with the golden rule is that it is the benchmark and based on self-treatment. The way we treat ourselves is questionable. To be golden, you must love yourself before anyone else. If you cannot place yourself first in your own heart, could you be expected to treat anyone better? Shabby self-treatment doesn’t demonstrate a good model for how to treat others. When you don’t put yourself first, you are teaching everyone else that you should be second. Ouch.
Granted, no one is perfect, but this is a golden rule and referred to as a standard. The criteria is not often met. Luckily, there are solutions. First, begin the love-me-first-as-completely-as-possible program. Yes, this includes positive internal conversations, frequent self-awareness sessions and gratitude parties where you think about yourself first. Not in a creepy narcissistic manner but in the style that will help you realize how you should feel about others. Love will increase gradually. Second, realize that doing unto others can be a great method to improve and it is not just a goal in itself. Use chances to do better to scale the framework of your love. Climbing up includes reaching back with a free hand to help others gain a leg up. Surround yourself with hands outstretched toward you.
Take two to rethink your role in the gold standard to feel your acceptance of the enormity of that standard. If we all increased our own self-love, there would be a quantum shift in the world. We could all go for the gold!
If you treated another as yourself, how would they like it? Can you think of one friend who makes the grade when you really understand what the golden rule stands for?
