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Ordinary Silence

The Sound of Silence

We live in a world of noise. The appliances spin and chime, the laptop has a cooling fan, the traffic passing by makes a predictable sound on approach and after passing and there is a lot of beeping. If anyone ever identifies the first inventor to insert a beep into an alarm, we can properly appreciate this person for producing the offensive noise that startles most of us awake. I am concerned about the decision to place the same beeping sound associated with an alarm on the microwave and the stove. I think more creativity could have been used to delight us. Beeping will always remind us that it is time to get up. In the new world of AI we may finally make some new noises. My smart speaker always has a lot to say, although I don’t take many of her recommendations. I think she is lonely. I get that. Silence from being alone has a depth to it. Some folks use the TV as a companion. I suspect that my smartphone knows more about me than anyone in my family. We hold hands a lot. 

Silence is Hard to Hear

The word silent uses the same letters as listen. Coincidence? Sounds keep us interested and the lack of them tend to make us uncomfortable. Humans feel required to fill up pauses in conversations as if it is their turn to speak. It is a dance of words. If a child is reciting something and stops for a moment to remember the next part, every other adult will quickly provide the answer thinking that they are helping. The child searching for the next part of the puzzle doesn’t get to look for it in their memory. It is a missed chance to develop a neural pathway and won’t actually result in the child learning. If a partner starts to verbally list all of the tasks that went uncompleted in a day in the form of a complaint, the reply is easily formed in defense while the list is being read. It is possible that examining the reason for the undone work will never be found. Walking up to someone you kinda recognize when you are unable to remember their name creates a great big uncomfortable moment of silence unless you cover it over with a generic greeting. The truth would actually get you the intel but the embarrassment would produce some awkward feelings.

Silent Words

There are words that describe silence, but they are based on lack. It is difficult to describe silence. It has so much feeling attached to it. And it is invisible. We can see the effects of it but there are few words to attach to it. Silence is often cited as the hardest part of meditating, but meditation doesn’t require silence. Quite the opposite. It requires a willingness to examine the thoughts that occur when you attempt to quiet your mind. The ability to be present to these thoughts permits them to be filtered more easily. It is a silent decision to clean up the thought creation process over time. Eventually the silences expand and less thoughts have to be whisked away for later. Meditating correctly means that you will continuously have thoughts that you feel flow through your mind. Having thoughts doesn’t mean you are doing it incorrectly.

Silent Comfort

One of the best-known uses of silence is when we want to rest or don’t feel well. It should tell us something that our body desires silence to heal. The natural tendency to remove ourselves from others and just turn everything off is a testament that silence is good for us. It is something to look forward to after a noisy day to settle our gentle souls. Houses of worship are often quiet, funerals encourage low conversation, museums have a reverent sound level, teachers try to keep classroom noise levels appropriate for many learners and libraries are like vaults of silence. Noisy interruptions get the side-eye. Many who exercise individually use the silence of being alone to concentrate better or just think their thoughts. Being in my own head while swimming is something I look forward to. I am delightfully alone and can add some time for meditating quietly at the end while getting in some needed physical exertion. There is no beeping. Just the water and me. Seeking silence opens up a different world that we deserve to expand our experiences. Turn something off to turn something else on.

Can you stand silence, or do you need to fill it up? Can silence get too loud and become loneliness? Where do you use quiet time in your life?

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Nancy Pyle is a Master Practitioner in NLP and a Master Certified Strategic Life Coach