The Thinky Way
Since we all have a brain, it would seem as though this would be a part of our body we understood more about by this time. But it’s always been easier to try and understand the parts that we can see. Most healers would rather see a good rash to treat than try and figure out why we act the way we do. Our thoughts aren’t visible; or are they? The clues might be there if we can look past what we want to see.
Thinking Differently
We often expect those closest to us to know what we want because they have been around us and should know us well. This power fails us most often in picking out presents, tasteful clothing, home décor or what the preferred choice for dinner would be. We think we know what someone would like based on our projections. It’s probably close at times based on past experiences but when it’s a surprise it blows up our preconceived notions. Perhaps some new ways to read each other would help.
After the Thinking
This step requires patience. This is the point where it is imperative to step back and turn off our thoughts. Waiting for the feelings that come after the thoughts is crucial. The feelings have the answers. These thoughts need a lot of coaxing because they don’t get out much. By the time we take enough time to observe someone’s feelings, the present is already on its way back to the store, the clothes are stashed in the bottom of the closest or another not completely satisfying meal is done. The second part of this equation is the silence that occurs while we wait for feelings to be brave enough to be seen and heard. They are elusive if rushed. Even shy.
Delayed Results
This is sometimes hard for me to do. I want to know exactly what is wanted but humans are trained to hide behind coy answers or pretense to avoid offense. In the end, the simple act of providing true feelings that come from actual thoughts could easily accomplish this but social practices get in the way. The best next step is to start changing the habit and not worry about the timing as much as creating room for my thinky process to work out the best solution. I might not get to the answer as quickly but it will satisfy both the giver and the getter more.
Are you willing to wait for real feelings to appear even though it might be uncomfortable? Are you willing to wait for your own thoughts to better understand your feelings? Do you know your own thinky process?
