Sometimes when I make my mad dash from the house to the car in the morning, I inadvertently walk through a spider web. It is the nature of the weather characteristics in my neighborhood that spiders make webs quickly and constantly and seem to delight in placing them right where I am going to walk. The web definitely wasn’t there yesterday but today it is right in front of me. The feel of the invisible web is so odd that I often gasp and start making quick attempts to remove it from my face. I am sure it probably hits other parts of me many days and I never notice it. The stickiness of the web makes it hard not to feel it on my face and at the same time, hard to feel like I am removing it. I seem momentarily trapped in that gauzy unpleasantness like the small bug it is meant for. After multiple stabs at my eyes and face to remove the web, I can move on to the car but it is difficult to stop occasionally taking a swipe at my face to see if I missed any traces of the web.
It’s probably just the shock of the unexpected, but that thin web is able to trap more feelings that a giant net. It is great to remember that my senses are still intact enough to let me know that I have been ensnarled like an itty bitty bug, but at these times I am lacking in my joy at the beauty of nature.
My feelings are like those silvery webs sometimes. They pop up needing attention at the most inopportune times. In reality, there are few times that would be great, but when I feel like I am reaching a level of overwhelm, I am usually already involved with three other dilemmas. The thought of getting caught up in one more emotion is usually the catalyst for a moment or two (or three) of panic thought and defensiveness. In the past, I did not operate well under stress. If I knew how astronauts kept their pressure under control so well while maintaining a slow heart rate, I would share it with everyone I come into contact with. You would literally see me in the line at the grocery store exchanging this useful information. It’s a service I would provide to the world.
After I have spent enough time being upset, I gradually get a better hold on myself and remember to ask myself those crucial questions that reground me. I regulate my breathing and remember that I am not on fire. Eventually I will get to the point where I can laugh a little at myself once I am well away from the issue and my power has been restored. It has taken me some time to get good at this but I count it as a superpower now.
Managing my thoughts is my business. Managing yours is yours. I love discussing those topics because the more I reexplain those facts to myself out loud, the more they make sense to me. If we all could just take a step back to look at ourselves more often with this in mind, the quicker we could all get to the place of understanding and appreciating each other. We are all unique humans; a gift I pause to be grateful for daily. I don’t want anyone to be like me because that would remove some of my specialness. I want us all to be spectacular.
And about that dance I do in the driveway when I walk through the web? I hope my neighbors have enjoyed it over the years. Now I only need to understand why I don’t see anyone else doing it.
What whisper-thin trap takes you down? How long does it take you to be able to look at your own actions with perspective? When do you feel most trapped?
