Fear of Should
There are a whole lotta fears in our world. It’s best we just focus on the ones we can actually have an effect on and come into contact with frequently. For most of my adult life, this has been the conversation I should have had with someone. The should conversations rank low in severity and usually provide some relief or clarity to a situation. Strangely, clarity is the intended outcome with most conversations. But reluctance sometimes makes us hold back and the window has streaks. When we hold back, we don’t get to the real point. After that, we may be disappointed that we didn’t have the courage to say what we really wanted to say. And it’s worse that we went to all that trouble and might not make the intended impact.
Fear of Could
The conversations that I could have had are remembered with regrets. They are missed opportunities and are tied up with not taking the time to let someone know how special they are or just spend time listening to them or not worrying so much about what had to come next on the to-do list. These are also the chances I didn’t take along the way that seemed like they were too hard or involved some discomfort. The could conversations involve decisions of the heart and head. These linger in memory because of the realization that things could have been different.
Fear of Would
Most of us don’t like asking for help. It places us in that precarious position of being indebted. Even though the bulk of human society wants desperately to do things for others just so they can experience what purpose feels like, we shrug off the would conversations and go about doing things on our own. If we remembered that it is more fun when others are involved, we might be tempted to invite others to join us. If two heads are better than one, a bunch of heads must be a party. These conversations involve a little bit of supplication and are short-circuited when we consider them as insights into something we cannot do for ourselves. Rethink them and consider them to be the chances you need to reach out and make more friends.
Opening line
I decided that I just need a better opener. Now when I want to engage someone in a deeper conversation, I am going to preface it with the thought that I want to be brave enough to have whatever conversation is needed. I may even say that to the person first even if it conjures up remote feelings from other opening lines like “we need to talk” or “I have something to tell you.” Those preparation lines are just code for something bad is coming. I don’t intend for my brave conversations to be negative; courage is a wonderful skill. I hope that I can even build a persona of gutsy. That descriptor doesn’t have a down side.
Are you brave enough to have the conversations you need to have? Can you show enough courage to tackle subjects and clear up the fog leftover from inadequate discussions? Can you be gutsy?
