Not the way
One of the strangest words in the English language is counterclockwise. The reversal of a device does not really return us to the past. Time cannot really be rewound. Although it is normal to think back on events in the past, they can never be changed. But our thoughts about them can be revised. With that in mind, it is a question why we go back to resurrect them. The reason for this review makes the difference. If I want to revisit a memory because it gives me pleasure, that is lovely. This can be assisted by pictures and videos. If the reason for the review is to try and figure out what could have helped it to have a more favorable result, that might be a way to learn. But there are days when I ruminate over what went wrong in the past. My personal dark ages. These can’t change and they often don’t result in new data after this continuous lashing. The real answer I should be looking for is why I do this to myself. Self-punishment is a popular byproduct of my regrets. I am the prisoner and judge. That would be a great reality show. But my sentence doesn’t absolve me. Because what I really want is to make the past better. Yes, impossible. My newer effort is to try to let go of my previous sins. Those I hurt can either accept my request to forgive me or not. That sounds blunt but that is ultimately the truth.
You are Extraordinary!
Week 21: It’s just song lyrics
When you really want the best for someone, you do stuff that is against what they would like. The easy road becomes muddy, and you have to be willing to endure their scorn for as long as it takes. That may be a sad definition of love. It sure should not be counted as heroic because it feels like you should rush in and fix it instead. Warming the bench isn’t easy when you know what can score a winning goal. But allowing for that space eventually can be rationalized as the thing that might have made a difference. Being plagued by regret for not being easy going can feel awful. Allow it.
